Thursday, March 4, 2010

Babes in Orange-Land

You've heard of Dante's Inferno, right? Dante has nothing on Mommy's Inferno... AKA flying (sans spouse) with a toddler as a lap passenger.

Now, my daughter is a very happy, good natured child. She very, very rarely fusses and is happy just about everywhere. That said, there are exception to every rule, and the exception here is airtravel as a lap passenger.

Two words: never.again.

Oh yes, Mommy was able to reach a whole new level of frazzled on this journey! Having traveled with my daughter when she was a newborn, I thought I had this baby-travel thing in the bag! I should have known. When will I ever learn to never assume anything when it comes to my child? Especially since she is now very vocal and very, very mobile!

Here are a few things I learned while traveling this past week:

1. It does not matter how 'travel-friendly' your stroller's reviews claim it is. The reviewers clearly never tested it's 'speedy foldability' while simultaneously carrying [wrangling] a child that is attempting to make her escape; 2 bags filled with 'necessary' baby products (which, incidentally, weigh about as much as bricks) and attempting to hand the flight attendant the tickets (you know, the tickets that said [flailing] child keeps attempting to grab and Where was the 'One-handed, 5-second-fold' mechanism that my 'Mercedes of Strollers' had promised me? Don't get me wrong, I adore our stroller, I just think the reviewers need to up the chaos level in their review scenarios.

2. You do not need half the things you think you will need in your carry on bag. No really, your child will only want to try to wiggle their way out of your arms and into the Promised Land (also known as the aisle). This will go on the entire flight and any attempts to read/play/snuggle/feed/amuse them as means of distracting them from trying to get to the asile will not end well. For you.

3. By 'extra leg room' seats, they mean 'extra cost' seats that involve no extra room for anything.

4. Trying to steer a stroller one-handed in an attempt to drink your coffee and walk at the same time, will result in you looking drunk (this may only be MY stroller, which maneuvers a little too easily if both hands are not in control of the vehicle at all times).

5. Airport sushi can be delish. Thank you Deep Blue Sushi at the JFK airport!

6. Each airport really only needs one store to purchase polo shirts within a 4-gate radius, not four, hmmkay? Perhaps they should add a Starbucks and some of those chairs massage chairs in their place. Mamma looooves those.

7. Inevitably, your child will probably do something embarassing en route to or from your location. Like throw her sippy cup at the Lt. Governor who happens to be walking up the aisle. [*blush*]

Any old who... had a great time in Florida! Wish we could have stayed longer!! My little babers certainly enjoyed the sun and sand (well, at least she enjoyed trying to eat it!)
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