Helen:"Honestly, Jake, sometimes I wonder if you know even the most rudimentary facts about our girls. How old is Quinn?”
Jake: “Uh, eleven. . . ish? That was a guesstimate.”
Helen: “Jake, what's my middle name?”
Jake: “It's got a "K," right?”
Jason: "Boner, is your voice coming from your armpit?"
'Boner' Stabone: "Yes."
Red: "I didn't want to insult him by offering him some nothing job."
Kitty: "Oh Red, you insult him every day."
Red: "That's different, he thinks I'm kidding."
"Dad is great! Gives us chocolate cake!
Mitchell and Cameron
Cameron: "I got all medieval on the florists."
Mitchell: "Cam, I heard you on the phone, you said you were displeased, but that’s hardly going medieval."
Cameron: "Excuse me, I said very displeased and I used my cowboy voice."